The Power of Hearts (and Words)

This is Avi, my five-year-old. Little Miss Chatterbox. Little Miss Wise. Little Miss Bossy… and a little bit naughty, too.

The other day, while playing with chalk in front of our house, she began drawing hearts, a few of them, all over our letterbox. Different colours, different sizes.

Curious, I asked her, “Avi, what are you drawing?”

“Love hearts, Mummy!” she said proudly.

I smiled and told her how much I admired her artwork, then gently asked, “Why hearts?”

She looked up and said, “Because hearts will make people happy. And when one person is happy, that person can make another person happy, and then the whole world will be happy”.

Moved by her answer, I asked her, “But what about sadness, Avi? What happens then?”

Without hesitation, she replied, “It’s the same, Mama. If one person is sad or upset, they can make another person sad or upset”.

Ahhh, so how we feel can be contagious. “Yes!” she said, confidently.

Her words caught me off guard, in the best way. A simple but powerful insight from a five-year-old heart full of empathy. If a child can understand such a fundamental truth about human connection, surely we adults can remember it too.

Avi was using chalk to spread connection. Through her tiny hands and colourful hearts, she was, without even realising it, gifting what author and behavioural investigator Vanessa Van Edwards calls “good chemicals”.

In her recent conversation with Steven Bartlett, Van Edwards described how our words and actions have the ability to trigger chemical reactions in others, little gifts of dopamine, serotonin, and even testosterone.

A compliment like “You’re really good at that!” can give someone a burst of testosterone, boosting their confidence and sense of capability.

A reassuring phrase like “You’ve got this” can gift serotonin, creating a feeling of calm, connection, and belonging.

And the joy from a sincere celebration or recognition? That’s dopamine, the chemical for excitement, energy, and motivation. Avi, in her simple way, was doing just that. Creating joy. Gifting positive emotions.

Imagine if we, as adults, were more intentional with our “chemical gifting.” Imagine if we used our words to lift others, to affirm, to calm, to connect. As artist Gemma Troy beautifully writes:

“Remember, your words can plant gardens or burn the whole forest down.”

We all carry this power… the power to build, to brighten, to uplift. So why not use it?